One of my male co-workers forwarded me an article today from a feminist magazine that discussed the new generation of young adults and how glaringly different we are from our predecessors. We've created a new generation and with it, a new way of life--new expectations for ourselves, new motivations for accomplishing goals, new goals in general.
But one of the most interesting points made in the article was the theory that young men in their 20s are trying to extend their adolescence a little bit further than they have in the past. The author of the article, Kay Hymowitz, argues that young men who have graduated from college are still attempting to live a college-boy lifestyle. They aren't trying to get married, or become responsible father figures, or even necessarily live independently. They're trying to work full-time while still maintaining the care-free and sometimes drunken lifestyle that they maintained in college.
Now, granted, this is a generalization which of course I do not support--at least in full. But it is an interesting point. And the argument that the author made was that young men don't have to get into the responsible and stoic father/husband role just yet because young women are no longer heading toward the mother/wife role as quickly as they used to. Generations ago, women didn't even go to college. They moved through grade school and then prepared for life as a mother and wife. But now women are pursuing careers--not just jobs, but real careers. They don't have time to be pregnant, or engaged, or even in a relationship in their 20s.
As Hymowitz states, "Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing. "
But I must disagree. Just because women are starting to show more fortitude and courage doesn't mean men should give up on those things. While I do think that women have made great progess over the past few generations in terms of indpendence and gender equality, I certainly don't think that a young man who is responsible and faithful is something to be laughed about or to be embarrased by. To me, the most attractive men are the ones who take responsibility for their actions, who work hard, and who show respect for women, for their families, and for other people.
Does that mean I want to get married to a respectable young man tomorrow or even in the next few years? No. I am one of those girls who is trying to create a life for herself that consists of a career and complete financial independence. Because let's face it, you can't successfully be with someone else until you've learned how to be yourself. It sounds corny, but it's true. How can you share your life with someone else when you don't even know what life is?
Someone else I work with was talking about all of the uprisings that have been occurring in Africa and the Middle East and commented that the world was falling apart. But I had to argue. The world isn't falling apart, it's getting better. We're improving our own lives by rising up against oppressive leaders, stereotypes, and the expectations and boundaries set for us by past generations. Sure, we may have absolutely no clue what we're doing because we have no historical examples to follow, but the point is, we're doing something different. And despite its flaws, it seems to be working.
Here's the article (Thanks, Patty): http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704409004576146321725889448.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read
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